Go Out With Me? Please!
by Artiste007
Summary: James and Lily. Basic dialogue, not full romantic relationship or anything, just the q&a until chapter two.Funny
1. Chapter 1

Will You Go Out With Me?

A James and Lily fic.

**Summary: James asks Lily out through the years. . . Hilarity ensues**

_Disclaimer: Just a lazy author with an idea and too lazy to come up with own universe and characters. Definitely not the awesomely dawesome J.K… _

First Year

"Will you go out with me?"

"No"

Second Year

"Will you go out with me? Pretty please with cherry on top. . . ?

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"When pigs fly. . ."

Third Year

"Will you accompany me to Hogsmeade?

"Have pigs flown yet?"

"Err.."

"No? Then sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

Fourth Year

James was hiding behind a huge sofa in the common room with Sirius… and a flying pig. He swaggered out, leaving Sirius to guard the pig.

"Hey Lils, wanna go with me to Hogsmeade?" James raised his hand behind his back to signal Sirius the countdown.

One…Two… Unfortuantely for him, Lily was in a mood, so before he got to three—

"When Hell freezes over!" She said a little too sweetly, while batting her lashes.

James' hand hung limply behind his back while the other one froze mid-head in his attempt tp muss up his hair.

Fifth Year

"Lily, will you please just go on one date with me?" desperation creeping into his voice.

"Aww… James, why ye—wait, has Hell frozen over yet?"

James answered with a dejected sigh.

"Then no, sorry"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know you all hate me... I do too. I'm going to try to finish this this week! And update the other 2! Force me to! ..Ughh. SORRY you all!

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><p>6th Year<p>

"I'm thinking of going to Hogsmeade with a date this time," Lily told Alice.

"Really? Who?"

"Oh, you know..."

"No. Who?"

"Not here, I'll tell you later." The minute Lily left the common room, James ran to Sirius and told him everything he had heard.

"She said she's _thinking_ of going with someone. It could be you mate!" Sirius reassured James.  
>"But, hell."<p>

"What?"

"Hell burns."

"Prongs, I hate to break it to you. You see, this has never quite happened to me before...but you're not making any sense mate."

"She said she won't go out with me until hell froze over," James all but yelled.

"Aww Prongs, calm down. It's just a manner of speech. She didn't mean for hell to actually freeze."

"I hope you're right Padfoot, I hope you're right."

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><p>***A few minutes later***<p>

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><p>"UGGH," Sirius jumped, startled by the yell, "I can't figure out how to make hell freeze!"Sirius gave James an exasperated, albeit amused look.<p>

James continued his rant, "I thought maybe I could ask but I would have no idea if hell actually froze...  
>I could try dying with my wand and freezing hell...but then I'd be dead."<p>

"Prongs..."

"Hmm...maybe if? No, wouldn't work."

Lily walked back into the common room with Alice. Sirius watched James face light up and then James said, "I have it! I'll kill the git who Lily wants to go to Hogsmeade with and he will obviously go to hell for the heinous crime of separating me from my Lily flower. I'll make sure he has a wand though, so he can freeze hell. And then Lily and I will be together and he might go to heaven for helping to make it happen. I am a genius."

Sirius looked on with worry marring his face, "He has officially lost it. My best friend-the crazy kid. Oh the horror, the disaster. I will save you James, I will save you from your heart, from your despair!"

James ignored him. He proceeded with step one of his plan: find the git. He walked over to Lily and Alice and asked boldly, "Who is Lily going to Hogsmeade with?"

Before Lily could say anything, Alice quipped, "James."

"That's it. I am going to kill that git," James anounced to a horrified Sirius.

Then he turned to Lily, "What does he have that I don't? I mean, Just his name-James. Ugh. Terrible. Terrible. Your couple name will be Lames. LAMES. Don't do that to yourself Lily!  
>On a different note... I am going to kill that bloody git, or make his life miserable, when I find him. What house is he in? Probably Slytherin, that's where all the gits are, and Lily is nice to some of them...okay one of them. I bet he's an arrogant toerag. I bet he's an ugly boy with thick glasses and the worst hair in the world. Worse then Snivellus! Not that Lily has bad choice in guys...wait she does. She rejects me..." He kept muttering to himself as he made his way over to Sirius. Lily stood mouth agape while Alice doubled over with laughter.<p>

"How much do you want to bet?" Sirius asked James.

"STOP JOKING. Operation ruin James must be successful!"

"Prongs..."

"Shh Padfoot, first we'll-"

"James," came a call far off.

"Yeah?-" James stood with a befuddled expression which quickly changed to one of ecstasy.

"James," Remus called again.

James ran over to Remus, "You're a genius Remus. A GENIUS."

"I know. So what did I do this time?"

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><p>AN: I know I make James sound a little dumb... I know he really is a genius, it just fits the purpose of this story. And I am aware that this obviously is not the romance that is James and Lily, but I tend to look at it as snapshots :)


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